Positive discipline with school-age children: The guidelines are similar to the above for school-age children. The parent:As parents, we want to help our children succeed in school. We want them to grow up and have good jobs and happy lives. Experts say that if we want our young children to do well in school and life, we should be teaching them all kinds of things before they even get to Kindergarten.
Exactly what should we be teaching our young children so they will be 'ready to learn?' Most parents believe we need to focus on helping children learn to read, write their names, identify shapes and colors and count to 20 and beyond. These skills are important for young children to learn, however, there are other critical skills a child needs to have in order to be ready to learn. These are called social and emotional skills.
A child’s emotional well-being and social competence provide a strong foundation for emerging cognitive abilities, and together they are the bricks and mortar that lay the foundation of human development. From birth, children rapidly develop their abilities to experience and express different emotions as well as their capacity to cope with and manage a variety of feelings. The foundations of social competence developed in the first five years are linked to emotional well-being and affect a child’s later ability to functionally adapt in school and to form successful relationships throughout life.
Many parents think that kids just naturally know how to get along with others and manage their emotions, not true. Adults must guide young children to learn these skills. Since much of this social and emotional learning happens before kids enter Kindergarten, this means parents are very important teachers when it comes to social and emotional learning.
What can I do to support my child's social and emotional health?
The good news is that many of the things you do every day with your child can help him/her learn these skills without taking extra time, effort or money. You can begin to do most of the things as soon as our baby is born. As a busy parent, you might wonder what you can do to support your child's social and emotional health. The following are examples of things you should be doing to help your child grow socially and emotionally:
Birth to age 5
Age 5 to 8
How does discipline affect the social and emotional health of young children?I
All children need discipline to learn how to behave and get along with others. However, there are different kinds of discipline. Punishment is a well-known kind of discipline. It involves doing something that the child will not like after he misbehaves so he won't do it again. Punishment does not teach the child what he should be doing instead of the "bad" behavior. Positive discipline is different. It involves guiding a child to learn the "good" behavior we want her to use to replace the "bad" behavior. Positive discipline is better than punishment for a child's social and emotional health.
imaginations and enjoy acting silly. They often develop fears and struggle to gain inner control over their emotions.
Toddlers and preschoolers will test the patience of their parents over and over again. There is no getting around it. It is very important for a parent to calm himself before disciplining a child. When a parent is angry and frustrated, it's just too easy to cross the line and say and do things that could harm the child physically or emotionally.
There are 4 steps to positive discipline with toddlers and preschoolers. The parent:
- Calms self
- Sets clear, firm limits
- Gently enforces the limits and teaches the positive behavior
- Follows through consistently
For example, when a toddler throws a toy in the house, the parent:
- Takes a deep breath and counts to three
- Says, "You may not throw the toy in the house - it's not safe and you might break something."
- We can play with the toy together on the floor or you can throw some bean bags in the bin.
- Does the same thing every time the child throws a toy in the house (redirects and gives a choice).
- States the limit or rule that was broken
- Discusses the rule and the consequences
- Follows through with consequences
- Guide the child in problem-solving
Working through problems together
Remember, school-age children are starting to learn to solve problems. They are learning to think independently and make decisions for themselves. They can only play a more active part in the positive discipline process as they learn that their actions can hurt others.
Together you are trying to learn how a situation could be handled better next time. Let your child do as much of her own problem-solving as possible. Ask open-ended questions, "What is another way you could have handled that?" "What might have worked better?" Help your child understand how each person felt during a conflict. Discuss:
For children of all ages, the bottom line on discipline is this:
Signs of Social